


To Live and not to Just Exist

by WilyMech



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Background Relationships, M/M, bondmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 17:53:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13013058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WilyMech/pseuds/WilyMech
Summary: Mirage joins the Autobots and the reason why he stayed.  Jazz's wish for Mirage.





	To Live and not to Just Exist

The pain slowly chases the darkness of an unconscious processor it was first thing that reach cerebral cortex. Then the antiseptic smell of fluids that the easily associated with medical facility. What was he doing? Oh yes now he remember he was on his way home from a rally of the lower classes. The tunnel of overpass collapse which ……why did it collapse? The beeps of a scanner nearby scanner reach his audio sensors to alert someone that he is awake. The pain again so he shifted his frame to more comfortable position. Firms hands held him still.

“I would not advise moving from that position.” Spoke a medic irritated “Your optics are working why online them for a moment.”

“Very well.” Spoke a crisp voice. It was medical facility but not the one he is familiar with. Triage is the word they used to describe a situation where there are several injured individuals. “What kind disaster has fallen?”

“Disaster.” Repeated the medic and gives a cursory scan of the room. Several mechs and femmes are different berths in severe injuries no different from the mech in front of him. “Where are you from?”

“My identification?” ask the crisp voice

“Most mechs and femmes have a chip for identification.” Spoke the medic in irritated tone. “It’s slagging nobles who don’t have the chip embedded in their frames.”

“I am a noble.” Answered the miffed voice “I should be the one who is irritated medic after all I woke in a strange place which is not even elite medical complex at the Towers.”

Medic looks at his scanners and typed the parameters that is of Towers and beeps back a designation. “Mirage, hunh, well I guessing going stay here for a while. So you are from the Towers.”

“You are not going transfer me to the Towers Medical facility?” ask Mirage in shock at the notion being treated at the commoner facility.

Medic gave Mirage a wistful look and shook his head. “Mirage….”

“It is Lord Mirage….” Spoke the blue and white noble.

“Lord Mirage, you were close to Towers complex when we pulled you from the tunnel.” Spoke the medic firmly. “You were on route to the Towers.”

“That is correct.” Spoke Mirage in cool calm voice

“What is it you remember?” ask the medic

“Nothing much really.” Spoke Mirage haughtily. “I heard a high pitch sound from outside the tunnel. I was too far inside to see the source of the noise and there was light traffic.”

“Were listening to anything?” ask the medic

“No. I was collecting my thoughts from the rally I was surveying.” Answered Mirage after pausing about the rally he attended.

“Megatron can give a good pep talk?” ask voice it was not the medic nor it was in line of sight.

“Jazz.” Spoke the medic in a warning tone.

“His systems are straining, Ratch, the pitch has change a bit.” Spoke Jazz

“Yes… “ spoke Ratchet getting a syringe out. “Now Jazz don’t look so scared it is for Mirage.” Ratchet watches the monitors as Mirage slowly drifts back to recharge. “Although his systems are not life support but there is no reason to add to their strain. I am surprised that a noble survived this.”

“He was close enough to get hit by the blast.” Spoke Jazz amused. “If Raj, was at the Towers he would been deactivated. Kinder, no, now his road harder once he learns what happened.”

“Mirage, did not tell much.” Spoke Ratchet drily

Jazz merely gives a nonchalant smile at Ratchet as he exited. “Keep me posted.”

Hound stood outside the door of med bay as Jazz leaves. Ratchet had him stay outside and not so close triage is hard on the sense of smell the scents of death. So many died that night and he found a survivor the white frame was covered in dirt and grime. The frame has scents of rarified minerals on it. It was exquisite scent that leads him to the owner of the frame. It was his first mission as an Autobot and also to do search and rescue. The frame is a noble one and like most Hound heard stories about the Towers. No one outside of the Senate ever seen a Noble from the Tower and there were many stories about them. Some of the stories about the Towers even stated that the towerlings were not even Transformers but techno organic protoforms. Ratchet scoffed at the notions saying that the only difference is the rarified metals that in the frame. 

Time skip

It had been several weeks since his rescue and still no word from the Towers. Mirage move stiffly for the first time under the watchful optic of Ironhide to a conference room as Ratchet stream passed them few moments ago. The blue and white mech oddly find him self not in a hurry for this meeting not because it is beneath him but the odd silence from the Towers bother him. At first Mirage thought the silence was due to his misdeeds and it was form of rebuke from his peers but after a while what if that his disgrace so great that he is now shunned. Either prospect was not good and it was something that Mirage wish not to share in his fall from grace. 

Ironhide allow Mirage to move at his own pace without assistance but didn’t even bother to rush him. Mirage had no visitors other than Hound who pulled him from the rubble and he also noted Jazz made discreet inquiries to recovery. Mirage surmise like in the Towers that Jazz are optics and audios of the Autobots so he did not have his best interest at spark. That what makes Jazz comfortable because the mech wishes to use him and also reason why Hound is the opposite. Mirage was to some a ladder to further others ambitions and he learn to accept that Being used and ignored was definitely better than being used and abused. Having the ability being invisible gave Mirage a taste of freedom and he got to see the commoners enjoy themselves. Mirage stay away just long enough before anyone notices he is gone or started to miss his presence. 

Hound cheery grin always greeted him and this time he was not alone a big black hulking mech is next. Mirage gave a wane smile at the tracker and Ironhide gave parting nod. “You are up and about. That is good.”

“It is taking me longer to get to the meeting.” Spoke Mirage stiffly. “My frame is not working as it should.”

Hound optics dimmed quite a bit he knew what he meeting is about and frown deepen. “Trailbreaker, please go on without me.”

Mirage noted the shift in Hound demeanor and suppressed his nagging fear. “Hound…..”

Black mech named Trailbreaker vented for a moment and studied Mirage gave a sad smile. “Some things you need to hear with someone there to support you.”

Ironhide look annoyed at Trailbreaker for moment as black mech disappeared to his destination. “Mirage, let’s get moving.” Grabbing the noble’s arm and tries to pull him along. Mirage twisted out of his grip and looks at Ironhide bewildered for a moment. “Kid….” Vented the guard heavily. “There is something wrong and you had been pinging the Towers since you could do so.”

“The Towers is angry with me and that is the reason why they haven’t answered.” Spoke Mirage in distress

Ironhide noted the contraction in Mirage’s statement and it was considered to be huge gaff on the noble part but showed his emotional state in the lapse. “This should not be said in hallway, Mirage.” Mirage helm went down and nodded as he move to the meeting room.

A large mech his name is Optimus Prime and Mirage recognized him from the reports. Optimus Prime gestured Mirage to take his seat and glance questioning at Hound. Ratchet is flank to Mirage’s right and Jazz to his left. Optimus Prime took his seat in front of him and both Ironhide and Hound remain towards the back blocking escape from the room. Mirage why he did need feel the need to escape it is stifling but not the same reasons. The room is spinning.

“Lord Mirage, there is no easy way to say this….” Spoke Optimus Prime in apologetic expression in his em field. “The Towers are gone.”

“Gone.” Repeated Mirage 

“Utterly destroyed.” Optimus Prime clarifying

Mirage did not hear the rest of what Optimus Prime and in that moment his world froze as people said words that no longer have meaning. He survived where his peers did not. By disobeying he survived and the edict killed his peers. Like all Towerlings, Mirage, is not different you are sparked knowing your place and function in life. Now that is gone and the rules on how to act are meaningless. Mirage did not even notice Ratchet had move until he felt a prick in his fuel lines.

Time skip Next few years.

Mirage counted the days since the Towers fell. Just as he counted the ways to make Mirage forgot the factoid. Drugs. Ratchet helped until there was no longer strain on his frame. Mirage knew drugs were not an option and so was high grade. Hound and Trailbreaker were companions and often they went on missions together. There was Jazz in that optics Mirage felt he was a pawn to be played with. It is comfortable feeling and one he was used to and so he allowed Jazz interface with his frame. Interfacing was new to Mirage but the sensation allow him to forget. Jazz wanted to forget as well. An escape at first. Jazz changed and so did he. 

“Raj, what do think about the “L” word?” ask Jazz in a honest smile

Mirage look at his sated berthmate. “Like you I thought it was a sparkling tale.”

Jazz hands went to Mirage’s frame and seam. “I am just a street musician and sold my frame to get some fuel. Funny thing I want more now.”

Mirage feel his frame relaxing for a moment. “Is there reason why you pulled me from my infiltration duties.”

Jazz merely frowns at that. “Your great at it and in fact you are also great in a berth. Mirage, you wanted your pain to end and just like me. “ Jazz stop for moment in a pause in his thoughts. “People believe that life at the Towers.” Mirage hissed in annoyance and glared hard. “Yeah I broke rules mentioning it. Many believe life at the Towers is freedom and which it is not it is a gilded cage but it is part of you, Mirage. I know you are taking risks in hopes to join your peers.”

“I have too much pride to end my life.” Spoke Mirage evenly “Making a few friends here and there does not make me feel less of a lost.”

Jazz pulls the other mech to his frame and hugs him. “I was lost too, Raj, I saw you as an asset and valuable one at that. I guessing many in Towers saw you as such and you are comfortable with that. I want you to live and not just existing.”

Centuries later

Jazz slow down their relationship and it became platonic for a while. Mirage tried other mechs and get to know them better some were of similar backgrounds and others were not but Jazz seem to know what is going on with him. Mirage could not bring himself to interface with either them. Mirage begin feel the connections again and part of something as his circle widen. Jazz came to care about other people and quit using them as pawns in the war with Decepticons. Jazz taught him how use his built the most effective way. Blurr taught him how to drive at high speeds. Bluestreak help him become a better sharpshooter. Hound and Trailbreaker taught him how interact. It was a small circle but unlike the Towers the people in it actually cared about him enough to realize he is gone or in hiding. 

Mirage begin to realize he misses Jazz. It was weird sensation as a Lord he had many in his berth but Mirage barely remember any. Jazz he remembers quite well and even talks about the innermost feelings and he really missed that. “Jazz, what are we?” It was an odd question and Jazz giving him the duties as his lieutenant in Special Ops. 

Jazz merely gave him a cheery grin for longest moment. “What did I say to you last night we share a berth>”

“You wanted me to live not just exist.” Spoke Mirage softly

“Yeah, what I wanted you were not ready for.” Grinned Jazz “I berth hop as much as you did when in the Towers but it was for the same reason to fill a void in the spark. Mirage, at the time you were trying anything to numb your spark and your pain. Ratchet forced me to see this.” Jazz frown at the memory of Ratchet saying what any emotional connection you think Mirage is feeling is not real. “The aft was right not because you are incapable it was because emotionally you were healing.”

Mirage optics went wide in shock. “You care about me.”

“It took you long time to accept people care about you.” Spoke Jazz in a saucy grin. “Plus interfacing was causing delays in your healing. I want more than good toss in a berth.” The visor hid the sadness in Jazz optics from Mirage with realization he is still not ready. 

Mirage found Ratchet in his medical office. “Why?”

“I am guessing you mean your relationship with Jazz.” Spoke the grouchy medic. “Jazz didn’t forge a serious emotional connection and it no longer about comfort for him. The question is how you feel about Jazz.”

Mirage looks at Ratchet and smiles a secretive expression. “You are right about the question, Ratchet. Thank you by the way.” 

Centuries later

Mirage’s circle is grew not by a whole lot but the people in it are his close and dear friends. The stirring new life in his frame has caused him smile down his recharging lover, Jazz, both survive the war and healed their sparks. The optics are beautiful and Jazz could not see him very well without his visor. Mirage hand circle a plating on Jazz’s hip. Jazz became more than a lover and a bondmate. The deepening of the relationship scared them both and caused Jazz to pursue Prowl. Mirage accused Jazz getting scared and taking a safe choice. It was rumored that Hound and Trailbreakers were his lovers at one point but that was just rumors. The two are his best friends and ti was something Mirage never experienced before in the Towers. 

“You are thinking too much, Raj.” Spoke Jazz in a drawl. 

“It is long time since we bonded.” Spoke Mirage softly. “Even you cannot see me and I never was invisible to you.”

“Yeah.” Spoke Jazz in a grin. “Rebuilding a world is a lot harder than it sounds. Not many are accepting of the other faction.”

“Ratchet said that there is a new generation is coming.” Spoke Mirage in a faint smile

“Hound and Teebs are lucky.” Smiled Jazz at the thought. “Pathfinder is getting them run for the shannix.”

“Well they are not only lucky ones.” Spoke Mirage in a playful grin.

Jazz optics went wide and he pauses for a moment. “Mirage are you carrying? I am going be sire.”


End file.
